Saturday, October 6, 2012

passion







Last night I had one of my dearest friends over for supper. She recently graduated with her masters degree in teaching. She's lived in a couple of different states over the last five years and recently moved back to my home town. (yay!) This last summer she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl- her first. Here she is, my go getter friend with a master's degree and right now what she wants to talk about is how hard it was just to get out of the house with her little one. Do you remember those days? Maybe you're there right now. For me that time of newborns, babies, and toddlers was quite difficult. My husband was constantly away out of town and often I felt like I was raising two little girls by myself. I remember feeling discouraged that the biggest thing I had to do in a day was to clean the bathroom. I had lost myself to this person called, "mom".

As my girls got older and began to go to school or preschool I would start to have a little bit of free time but I didn't know how to fill it except for to walk the isles of the grocery store all by myself without my daughters asking for every item that contains loads of sugar. At that time just that small task alone felt like a slice of heaven.

Then one day I found myself without direction. I have this little brother and sister in law that are real go getters. They run after their dreams with mad passion. My sister in law entered a competition where she designed some carpet and came in THIRD in the entire nation and my brother has designed for all kinds of big names like Obey and Diamond Back. They're not afraid to try things. They're willing to be told "no!" If that happens they just try again in another direction but they never give up. I find them to be so inspiring! There is something to be said about watching people live with passion.

Back to finding myself without direction....

I was sitting in their living room and my sister in law asked me what I enjoyed doing and I honestly had no idea! All I knew were the roles of wife and mother. I don't think I really even enjoyed many friendships at that time. Well Ashlie (my sister in law) encouraged me to just start trying all sorts of different things and soon I'd fine things that started to stick. I tried art classes and that is not my thing. I can NOT make a beautiful piece of art. not. at. all. I tried a temporary job for a little bit and that didn't work at all with my kid's schedules and a traveling husband. I began running and found that I enjoyed that.

And then I found food.

I found myself obsessed with food blogs. I would stumble onto photos that made food look just as beautiful as any flower. I started trying new recipes and working with new flavors. Recently I made a stew that had fresh pumpkin in it. Three years ago I would've never had the courage to try it. I would've considered it to "fancy" or "hard".

I almost did not return to school this year. It's really expensive and there can be this little voice inside my head that whispers to me that "I'm not good enough" all day long. Out of discouragement I thought I might quit. Funny thing, I have this dad that would say, "we are not quitters!" as I was growing up and that voice was beginning to drown out the "I'm not good enough" voice. Plus I had my mom and husband really pushing me to return.

On the first day of school my professor left me completely inspired. He said that photography is art and art comes from your heart. We were instructed to only shoot for ourselves and not care whether anyone likes our work or not. That true artists just pour themselves into their work. Well I don't know what happened but something has clicked inside of me and I'm like a person obsessed. If my beets are ready to be picked, well just hold be back while I shoot them from every angle possible. I really feel like the last couple of posts are true to me. It's like I lose myself to the process and just enjoy.

I've never had a passion for anything before other than the obvious, my family, God, etc. I eat, sleep, read about, cook, and photograph food. I'm crazy for it. It's so exciting to be free to pursue my passion. I watch Anthony Bordain on television and get so pumped up about his food travels I'm unable to sleep. I LOVE the whole idea of seasonal eating, shopping at local markets, and going as organic as you can afford.

I truly could go on.. and on.. and on.. but really this is getting long enough already. :)

I will leave you with this. If you find yourself lost and without direction as to what might make your hear sing why don't you consider trying something new. Maybe gardening is your thing, or tennis, or piano lessons. I don't know. But I do think passion can come from anywhere and that it's something special that God has placed inside each of us. Obviously it's first meant to make us crazy in love with him but I also think he enjoys seeing us bloom and take those thoughts "that you're not good enough or talented enough" captive and just enjoy the gifts that he's placed inside of us. Don't do it for anyone else! Just do it for Him and enjoy it for you! Pin It

19 comments:

  1. You are one of the lucky ones Lissa who truly has a passion for something and you have found your bliss. I have had many conversations about this very thing this year. Bravo to you ~ hugs. xo

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  2. Hi Lissa, this post spoke to me so much. thanks for taking the time to write it and your encouragement.
    Blessings, Kristina

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  3. ...I love this post. It reminds me of your previous inspiring blog! I moved from the east coast to Huntington Beach 3 years ago for my husband's schooling and felt so lost and lonely. Your blog got me through hard times and inspired me to find interests. In that time I became a certified yoga instructor! I would have never imagined! I have since moved again to CO for my husband's internship and am back at square one. But today's post resonated with me and I want to "get back out there!" I am so glad you are back blogging!! We missed you! FYI: I almost died when I read you went to and loved Huntington Beach! I had been reading you for years and there you were in my backyard!!

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  4. A beautiful post! When you think about something night and day, and are so excited about it that you can't sleep, that's when you know to go for it. That's how I feel about making jewelry, and volunteering in my community.

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  5. P.S. I'm so glad you found your passion and are able to live it!

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  6. Great post Lissa! It is so true about finding your passion. My girls are still only 3 and 5 and I am teaching full time again, but I try to find time to keep up with reading, family and God! Have a great weekend! XO

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  7. You are a much happier person now that you found your passion...and that definitely is a God thing. Love to see you light up when you feed your loved ones. It's a beautiful thing:)

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  8. Love this! I'm so glad you've found your passion and are encouraging others to do the same. You take amazing pictures. Don't ever stop! :)

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  9. I too have recently found my passion....in the art form of baking! Got the courage to take some classes and recently started a blog, www.redcottagechronicles.com and am thoroughly enjoying "losing myself' in the research, the blog writing, but most of all the baking itself. I can only hope I reach your level of food photography sometime in the future! Keep up the good work.

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  10. Lissa, this is so awesome not many people can say they found their passion take it and run or snap away or cook! Have a great semester!

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  11. Lissa your happiness is a wonderful thing! I love the photos of the beets....being a garden girl myself, I do get slightly obsessed with photographing it. Next summer you need to come visit and have a photo shoot! :)

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  12. I loved this post! :) I felt like cheering, "Go, Lissa, go!"

    And thank you for sharing your passion with us!

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  13. Thats really inspiring thing to read. I do walks and hiking whenever those mind boggling state always hit me. It does great wonders to refresh and restart your way of thinking. Got my eye on your next posts.

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  14. You are truly one of the most inspiring bloggers/people ever. Thank you for such a beautiful and vulnerable post.

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  15. AMEN! To everything you said! Very inspiring!

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  16. LOVE this post! I am not a mom but often get wrapped up in the dullness of life and I need to take time to again explore my passions and do things outside my comfort zone. Your pictures have improved so much!

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  17. it's very obvious that you've found another passion, and we're the better for it.

    I totally agree with your professor about art being from your heart.

    There is no limit to what can be "art" in our lives....I love that God puts all this passion inside each of us...at the core, it's us worshipping him bc he is the ultimate artist and creator.

    Your work is beautiful...and I can't wait to see how God continues to grow you in it!

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  18. Lissa, how old were your girls when you felt so lost. I can really feel myself slipping into a similar space. My youngest just started kindergarten, half days, and I feel at such a loss. Right now my day has just enough time to feel empty and I almost dread the time when they are both gone all day because, after feeling so pulled for so long, I can see that I'm not going to know what to do with myself or my talents. I'm actually scared at the thought of all that time. Is this something all moms go through when all their children are in school?

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  19. Well I had that issue for years- all through toddler and younger years. It was only 3 years ago that I began to find my way. I think LOTS of women struggle in this way and you are not alone! Just start trying some things that might interest you and You can always turn to the savior for help too! Praying for you this afternoon! :)

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