Wednesday, September 21, 2011

One of the biggest lessons I've learned

We're going to take a little break from food and kitchen talk cuz I got something important to tell ya. I've learned a LOT of lessons in my late thirties and have probably grown more in the last 2 1/2 years of my life then any other time. One of the BIGGEST mistakes I made after having children was NOT DATING my husband. Babies are so exhausting and then toddlers are even more so. I stupidly thought that no one on the earth could take care of my kids the way I could. Babysitters were expensive and if the choice was between a new sweater or paying a sitter I pretty much always chose the sweater. Now that's just DUMB!! Now I JUMP at the chance to go on dates! Yes, cost is a concern but there is something to be said about making memories and HAVING FUN together as a couple. Well we got the chance to do just that this weekend. We went on a double date with my parents to see BIG N RICH in concert with Gretchen Wilson and it was an absolute blast! And guess what. I almost didn't go!!! I almost saved the money towards a new mirror that I want for my mantle. And that would've been a crying shame because we had SO MUCH FUN!!!

They were playing at the state fair so I arranged for my sister in law to take care of the girls after school and we left in the afternoon for a no holds barred date! And we ATE baby!!! I may need to eat gluten free but I found PLENTY OF JUNK to eat! And then WE DANCED and SANG at the top of our lungs! And we giggled and must've told each other 15 times how much fun we were having and how happy we were to be there!

And it gets better then that!! The next morning I got a text from my husband that said he had so much fun and that he really enjoys spending time with me. Now that's a fantastic compliment if I've ever heard one! He said that seeing me happy makes him happier than anything! I think there's an important truth to grab hold of here. He didn't text me to say, "man you looked so pretty last night." He didn't tell me that seeing me all dolled up in fancy clothes makes him happier than anything. You know what attracts him to me? Seeing me have fun. Watching me enjoy life and dance and laugh and be goofy.

So I have a challenge for my readers. If you have not gone on a date with your husband in awhile would you please make every effort to do so! Would you get all dolled up just like when you were dating before you got married. Would you put on some yummy smelling perfume? And then would you plan something FUN! Maybe it's just going to be happy hour with a gigantic pile of guacamole and more then your share of tortilla chips followed by a visit to your local frozen yogurt shop. Or it might be fun to rent roller blades at your local park and chase each other around the trails stopping afterwards for a Starbucks. It doesn't matter what you do just that you DO something that makse your man feel IMPORTANT and SPECIAL and that HE'S worth not getting a new sweater or mirror because he is SO MUCH more important than things.

And if you're a grandma have I got a doozy of a challenge for you. Would you be willing to be available to take your precious grandchildren so that your own babies could go on a date! Cause I guarantee you that mama needs a break!!! I remember one time when Neal and I went to a movie and ended up being 30 minutes early! We sat in the theater and talked and I was SO HAPPY because I didn't have to take anyone to the bathroom and no one was shoving their hands in my popcorn and eating all of the M&MS. I was relaxed and that half hour of uninterrupted chatting was heaven I tell you!!!

Don't put this off! Your marriage is so important! Plan something fun right now!! And make sure you smile and let him see that twinkle in your eye! It'll do something for him! wink wink! Pin It


  1. I love that you shared this! Dating my hubs again was one of my goals this year, and I do the same thing about the cost and time, etc. It's been on my mind lots lately that nothing is more valuable than our relationship, and the lessons we teach our kids about a happy marraige.

    YAY for you, and I'll make sure I get a great date this weekend!

  2. Yay Lissa, I love dating my hubby and you are soooo right it's soooo important. Over the years we have gone hot and cold with our dating, cuz let's face it, it's easy not to do. I have to admit that our marriage is at its' best when we do date. Thanks for the reminder to plan dates and spend the money on us and not "mirrors" and sometimes that's hard ;)

  3. Beautiful post and I totally agree. We have 2 girls, 7 and 4, and it has never been a priority for *us* to do things for *us*. I have really been rethinking that as well lately. I know it would make a difference in our marriage to just have fun. No responsibilities, kid fights, chores, etc. in the way. Just him and me. Thanks for the encouragement. Aaaaaand.... thank you for stopping by my blog a few weeks ago. I literally almost bust out of my skin when I saw you commented and liked my little arrangement with the coral and sea fans! I LOVE love love your blog and am a loyal reader I just am bad about commenting! Thank you so much, it truly made my day!

  4. So true, we go out with friends alot, but I need to schedule a one on one.

  5. How fun!!! What a fantastic date! I must admit, I don't go out with my husband as much as I would like. We have a fabulous time every time we do go, I wish we could go more often. It does cost money, but I agree, it is worth every penny of it! My parents surprised me yesterday with a Groupon gift. It is an overnight stay at a fancy boutique hotel in downtown Atlanta. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was so excited. I can't wait to go on an overnight date and they even agreed to watch the girls for us. They are coming into town for a visit next week, and will be with us for a whole month. So excited!!! Have a wonderful day!

  6. Thank you for sharing this very important lesson! My hubby and I go on weekly dates and boy, do I ever look forward to them. It isn't about where we go, what we do, or how much it will cost - for us, it is about getting out of the house and having fun together sans kids!

    Great post! You look so happpy! :)

  7. That first picture is framable!!! Oh my goodness the two of you are adorable. We need a date night. B has been stressed out lately! Dinner and a movie would be a nice break:)

  8. we love to date each other....
    it's ESSENTIAL.....

    Since we moved, we haven't been on one, and we are both CRAVING the time together......


    love your date and love that you went with your the way, they look as sweet and genuine as I would have imagined them to be....

  9. That is such great advice. I am not married, nor anywhere close, but great advice. My mom often says the thing she regrets the most is taking care us kids only and not her and my dad time. You and Niel are so cute and fun.

  10. My husband always remembers our first date a with flowers, it is more special to us then our wedding date. I agree spending time together is a must!

    Happy Dating!

  11. Amen. My husband once told me that me being happy was more important to him than how I looked (although he likes that too). Nothing uglier than a sour wife - no matter how good she looks. I love that you guys had a great time with your folks.

  12. You are a wise woman. Glad you shared because we all need to be reminded. :)

  13. I loved this! Yep, dates are so important!! Of course, we get to the movies 30 minutes early to stuff our faces with popcorn and to talk a little. We almost always have fun when we go on dates.... and we love to just do something fun. Great post!

  14. Wonderful words of wisdom and fun with your man!! I love that photo of you two in jail and your hubby's facial expression. You can tell that he was enjoying his time with you. It really is so important to go on dates and to plan FUN together. And good for you Lissa on choosing time and fun with your hubby over that dresser.

    Thank you for this post Lissa! It's a great reminder, even at my older age, to realize that our men love it when they see their woman truly happy with herself and with life.

    Bring on the FUN and adventure!
    ♥Lee Ann

  15. Hey, great post - and glad to hear you had a great time. Everyone needs to have fun now and then! I love your hat in these pics, it suits you! Have a great weekend x

  16. girlie...well said AND bonus because you are doing it.
    and to take you up on your advice..I am babysitting my three grandbabies overnight while my daughter and her husband go away for their wedding anniversary!

  17. I LOVE YOU Lissa!!!! YOu are right on there girly!! :)

  18. Yay! You go, girl! I LOVE Gretchen Wilson, and I love going to concerts. That's something that the hubs and I have started doing more frequently. And I want to give a big YES!!! to your comments about date night. We are in a season where we make sure to go every single weekend (I know that's not possible for everyone) and it has blessed us so much. When the kids are up and gone, I think we'll be glad that we have put the time into it. And you are right; happy is *much* more important than well-dressed. You are cuter than cute in your countrified attire. Love it! ;)

  19. Cute, cute pics, Lissa. I'm glad you guys had such a great time. I agree, it's so important to make time for each other. It's so hard though! Of course, it's worth it. :)

  20. In my marriage, I am the one who begs for dates! We waited 20 years for our daughter, who we adopted from China 4 years ago, and now my hubby says we dated enough during those 20 years! I am home with her 6 days a week and I love every second of it but I still need some time alone with my MAN! I just pray that he will some day understand that a little better.

    Lissa, you guys are just beautiful people! SO glad the Lord saved your family!

  21. What a great post Lissa and what a great night you had! Having no kids it is easier for us to have a date night. We try and go out to dinner once a month ~ most times it is nothing fancy but it is nice just to get out. Trev is not big for movies so to get him to one is usually a challenge and really why do something that he does not enjoy. This is great advise to all couples ~ and the pictures are so so cute. Happy week-end! xo

  22. Thank you so much for this post. I have not dated my husband for a long time... we have also two kids and I feel like you felt before... I have already looked for a babysitter but I am not feeling so good to leave the kids with her. So I will be brave and just do it. I need to have more time with my superhero!!! I love your post. Happy weekend. Tini

  23. I love that you encourage others to hang out with their spouse. We are soooo overdue for a date night. It's really hard when spare cash is short and there's no family around to babysit. There is nothing better than having hubby's full attention without sharing it with the kids.

    Love your photos. It looks like you have so much fun together. x

  24. Such a great post Lissa- one of your best yet! We go on dates at least once a month and take one trip alone together every year. I will admit that it's hard for me to not always make our little kiddo my top priority, but he always let's me know when I need to balance it out a bit. ;)

  25. These pics look like you had so much fun! I love it!!

    Marriage is such a wonderful thing. God created something beautiful! I LOVE my husband so much. It always feels like I am so blessed because he is such a great husband.

    When I see marriages of other people, especially ones that are thriving, I just praise God because it is the best thing. I am so happy God worked and is working in your marriage. We need to walk alongside couples who are struggling so they too can know what it means to be truly happy in their marriage life.

    Thanks so sharing and the reminder to spend quality time with your spouse. Me and my hubby took the day off tomorrow to just spend time together alone. It's going to be great!!!

    Kind Regards,

  26. Beautiful post! So happy for you and Neal and for how the Lord has restored and given you all such an incredible recompense!

    Love all of your pictures too!

    I wish we could date! My husband is only home twice a week and doesn't see our children all week. So our weekends are spent with the kids.
    I don't think we've been out to dinner alone in months. And I know we have not been away for an overnight or a weekend away in least 8 years! I don't even remember what that is like!

    But my babies are small and they are only little once! I've already raised one and know how fast it all goes I am trying to just enjoy and focus on them right now! We are ALL they have! No family! So we can't just leave the kids with the grandparents and go away.

    We do not have time together or time alone, it's all about the babies here at our house! I can't compare myself to other wives, I just have to trust and know that this is our season right now in the raising of our little ones and every second has to be spent giving them what they need.

    So happy for how God has blessed you all! You are a beautiful family!!!

    Big Hug,


  27. i love this post, i love you & N, i LOVE that you challenged the grandma's!! SO important. I wish my mom were closer than an hour away, because I know I would have a regular sitter - as she thinks it is as important to date as we do! HUGS sweet girl......

  28. I love your posts!! I am a grandma and I did just that on Saturday night! I called my daughter (who is pregnant with her 4th) and said, "hey we will come watch the kiddos tonight so you guys can go do something!" I vowed to myself I would do that more often! They had an awesome night and I think it was just what the doctor ordered! Yes it was an almost two hour drive down and two hours back and we got home really late and my hubby had to teach SS the next morning but it was so worth it!